Criticism and Judgement:
Do you find it difficult to handle criticism and judgement? Are you easily triggered by others words and actions? In this article I will reveal new ways to handle criticism, by using it to your advantage.
Is there a way to make criticism work for you?
I have the belief that everything can be used for personal empowerment – to make life better. The environment is always providing feedback through thoughts, emotions and even other people. I take the radical approach of using other’s criticism to learn, or take positive action.
The first step to deal with criticism is to ask, “is the criticism true?” If there is some truth to the criticism it can be used for personal growth. If the criticism is NOT true, you can let it go without too much thought. Maybe someone is projecting their opinion, trying to bring you down, or they made a mistake!
Using criticism as a learning experience:
When our default position to criticism is to argue, we miss the opportunity to learn something. Rather than defend yourself, could you instead decide to become better in the area you were judged on?
– If criticised for health choices, does this mean you need to look after your body?
– When criticised for financial choices, is it time you become financially empowered and start saving?
– And when criticised in your relationship, is there an opportunity to solve a problem?
The fear of criticism:
One of my mentors says, “if you’re afraid of being criticised, then you’re holding back going for what you really want in life.” When you see criticism as an opportunity, it is easier to manage and you grow from the experience.
If I’ve got my health, money and family life in order, why would anyone criticise me! On the other hand if I have some issues that need attention, the criticism comes to wake me up to grow.
Don’t get defensive, get empowered!
Leaders pay for criticism:
Those who are leaders in their business, health and family regularly pay people to give them advice. You can get great criticism from a professional coach or adviser… When you are paying someone for advice, you want the truth don’t you?
The criticism (or critique) is designed to promote insight and change. When I seek criticism I follow The 10x Rule. If someone has 10x the knowledge I have in a specific area of life, I will learn from them. This means I can save a lot of time and effort by following good advice right from the start.
I had an uncle who used to give me health, business and relationship advice! He was not very empowered in any of those areas. Why would I take advice from him? You might get a few nuggets of wisdom here and there, but why follow a system created by someone who hasn’t achieved success?
The better quality criticism we get, the more successful we become.
We require both praise and criticism:
Praise makes us feel safe and supported. The downside of praise is it can keep us stuck… Criticism can make us feel uncomfortable and threatened. The advantages are that it helps us grow, and gain insights we wouldn’t have reached on our own.
When we don’t listen to criticism, bullying increases. Because support and challenge will always be equal, overly supporting children (and adults) can actually increase bullying. Over-protection although well intentioned, can shelter kids from dealing with real life.
Rather than overprotect kids, why not: Involve them in a class to build confidence? Sign them up to activities they are inspired by? Enroll them in martial arts or a life skills course? Teach them positive language patterns, such as what can be found in NLP (Neuo-Linguistic Programming) and hypnosis?
Power questions to ask if being bullied:
- How can I increase my personal power?
- Is this criticism true?
- How can I use this to grow?
- Is bullying a push for me to become empowered?
- What part of myself am I being invited to accept?
Are people subconsciously criticising to push others to grow?
Criticism although not pleasant, does carry with it opportunity. No human being has ever traversed life without being criticised at least once. Expect that you will receive both criticism and praise in your relationships and use BOTH to grow.
This is idea has changed how I live my life. I don’t waste energy blaming those who criticise me. I consider what they say and make one small improvement if appropriate. A strange thing happened when I did this. Criticism occurs far less by listening and acting in a powerful way.
I strongly encourage people to speak to me with respect when they are criticising me, I won’t accept being attacked. Take the learning and teach people to show respect. You can too!
I am a Hypnotherapist and Demartini Method Facilitator in Brisbane QLD. Nothing pleases me more than seeing someone make a positive shift in their life and relationships. I welcome helping you with your addiction, anxiety, ideal weight goal or relationship issue. Sessions are available in person (Brisbane) and by phone worldwide.
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